Enjoy Sex Toys

Bachelorette parties should be just as much fun for guests as for the guest of honor. For my bachelorette party, I told my friends that I didn’t want a male stripper because all the ones I’d ever known were gay and I couldn’t get into the fantasy. If I think a guy is gay, I can’t appreciate their physical attributes because I’m too damn busy hitting them up for fashion and style advice. So, I requested no male stripper.

I secretly thought that they had maybe gotten me a female stripper– I overheard some of my friends the day before the party and I could tell that they were up to something and that something involved a stripper. I figured well hell, yeah. At least it won’t be too obnoxious if I end up asking a girl stripper where she gets her hair done, plus it will be fun and funny and maybe she can teach me some tricks to use on my husband during the honeymoon. Also, if she’s a lesbian, that’s just plain hot. Bring on the lady stripper!

So the night of my bachelorette party rolls around, and I know my friends are up to something. They put a blindfold on me and hand me a jar of glitter, and tell me to get ready. I start getting excited, they start some music and in walks AN OLD FRIEND. As he begins to striptease for me, I begin to scream, “Get off me, I can’t see you naked!” My girlfriends’ response was “Well, you know he’s not gay!” While I ran away and commenced to drink heavily in the corner, my girlfriends took advantage of the sexiest stripper we’d ever seen– proof that the bachelorette party is just as much for the bridesmaids as it is for the bride.

bachelorette party supplies and sex toys

I was thinking the other day, which can bring no good to anyone, I know. But I was watching The Food Network’s Alton Brown on “Good Eats” and I realized that he has a special disdain in the kitchen for what he calls “Mono-taskers”, like electric Apple peelers, or well any big bulky kitchen item that is only designed to serve one purpose and otherwise just takes up space. It got me thinking that I have got a LOT of sex toys, some are quite respectable multi-taskers, for instance my anal vibe, also double as a clit vibe. And let’s face it; dildos can be stuck in just about whichever hole you like. But things like my butterfly stimulator or my ball gag, well they are only good for the one thing, and they take up a relatively significant amount of space in my bedside table. Even my anal beads could, if need be, double as a necklace…well a bracelet, if pressed to find a second purpose, but those mono-taskers, are beginning to make me feel like an inefficient sex toy user.

I rode her asshole HARD last night. I threatened her with it for weeks, and she laughingly played into it, teasing me with pictures from her cell phone. She would sneak off into a public bathroom stall and take out her little pocket vibe, masturbating with one hand and snapping photos with the other. One night while she was traveling I recognized the unmistakable logo of a Starbucks in the periphery of the image she sent. The image coincidentally had her bent over in front of the bathroom mirror with beads in her ass and a thick dildo obviously railing at her pussy.

She got home from her trip and I immediately snatched her up to my place where I had all the necessary electric sex toys and some old school DIY sex toys laid out like a surgeon’s tools. I played with her tits, and her perpetually wet pussy for a bit to prime her, then with a little spit and smile I slid my finger into her asshole and worked it for a bit until I felt she was loose enough to take me. I stood her up and bent her over. Stripped her skirt without warning and squeezed a generous helping of lube on her little star. I entered slowly, as a gentleman should, but once I felt the tension go away I FUCKED that tiny asshole HARD until I saw the glint of a tear roll down her cheek. That’s when I poured my load inside her ass and let out a roar. I pulled out and watched my cum seep from her gaping hole, then walked to the bathroom to clean myself up. I tossed her a towel, again, as a gentleman should. I shut the light and closed the door so she could recoop in private. And I noticed a bit of blood dripping down from her rectum between her spread legs, and thought to myself, “That’ll teach her to tease ME.”

This is not some fantasy blog, or some concept of anyone’s imagination, this is my life. I got “discovered” when I was very young, too young maybe, I don’t know. I was snatched up into the limelight and exposed to an unreal world of pretty people and an opulent norm that cannot, and should not be maintained. I am a writer, actress and model recognized at first for my talent (I hope) and then my appearance, but I don’t know that I was ready for any of it. I am taking a hiatus from the biz for a bit in MX, and can’t write any of this on my public blog, or MySpace, because well it will make some trade paper or get back to my agent, or a studio and then I’m fucked.

What’s the deal? Well, I have secrets like anyone and sometimes I guess I just need a confessor. So forgive me father, but I’m into kinky sex and for what I do, it’s got to be a secret. I like sex toys, I mean the best sex toys, I mean sex toys you would buy at a hardware store. I know a hundred and one ways to use a vibrator. I love anonymous sex, and group sex. Gang bangs THRILL me, though I haven’t been able to safely throw one as yet, and if given the chance I would love to spend a weekend with countless sexy women in lesbian orgy.

There now I feel better, feels good just to have typed it out, even if no-one ever reads it.